My MIL sent us Kohls cash, as she does every time she gets some, which is AWESOME! We decided to head to Kohls, get a food scale, then to Blockbuster for a movie, then we just HAD to pick up some soda and something for Tony's HUGE ear and home. Sounds easy enough....ah NO!
Kohls: We go in on a mission - to find a food scale. We walk around the entire kitchen area looking for one. We didn't see them, however, I did see a $100 toaster. WHAT? Who needs a $100 toaster and why do you need to "Reheat" something in a toaster? HONESTLY! Anyway, I hear Tony ask if they carry food scales. The lady takes him over to the gadgets and proceeds to tell us that "They don't carry food scales because everyone is going to the POINTS system." We looked at her like she had 10 heads of course, so she proceeded to tell us about Weight Watchers and the points. At this time, I notice a HORRIFIC smell of rotten eggs and Tony is NO WHERE to be found. So as I am saying thank you and trying to get away from this terrible smell, she keeps chatting to me about going to Wal-Mart and getting a "postal scale" since they measure ounces. (I am aware that Wal-Mart carries food scales but I figured why not get one with my cash)
I finally get away from this crazy Weight Watcher Point talker and start yelling at Tony for farting in Kohls while we are both standing there. He looks at me and says, "I SWEAR that was NOT me!" So, not only did this lady insist on speaking to me, but she farted while she was talking to me - AWESOME!
After purchasing Tony dress shoes and me a cute pair of black flat, we headed to Blockbuster...
Blockbuster: We are at Blockbuster so frequent, that they know us when we come in. The associates appreciate Tony's craziness, which is nice because he was EXTRA crazy today! I give him a "speech" before we go in that needs to "settle down". That lasted a whole 3 minutes. As we are looking for a movie, we see Extraordinary Measures. Tony says in a loud voice, "I already work 24 hours a day" (this comes from the obnoxious commercial they kept playing to promote the movie while it was in theaters.) Next thing I hear is the associates all laughing because they know exactly why he said it.
After making a lap around Blockbuster with no movie in hand, we decide to ask our favorite associate what to get. He is a VERY good movie picker. He told me the Kevin Costner movie "just looked terrible" and not to get the movie with James Vander Beak in it. So we decided on a Woody Harrelson movie that will apparently "ruin our night" but is very good. As we are leaving and having an in dept conversation about Lindsey Lohan and movies like Mean Girls, Tony decides to SCREAM "GIVE ME BACK MY SON" Now, if you have ever been with Anthony and heard him say this movie line, you KNOW how loud he can be. We left on that note....Watch out CVS here we come
CVS:We were here for 2 things: soda and something for Tony's ear that is infected. It is the outside and it is swollen, hot (apparently) and hurts. I suggested fungal cream because, lets face it. There is a REALLY good chance, he scratched his "little Tony's" then touched his ear. He went to ask the pharmacist because apparently my diagonsis wasn't good enough. When he was explaining how his ear hurt, he then proceeds to say, "Well, my wife here thinks that I have jock itch on my ear. She says I scratched my balls then my ear." Honestly! So, we settled on a different anit-itch cream and headed to the checkout, but not after getting his precious soda that he has been "so hungry for". After standing in line and him telling me, "I am going to be 35 before we leave this place" we finally get up to the register where I give my CVS card, coupon and EXACT change..hahaha. I notice he is out of the building before me and I know he his hiding behind he wall waiting for me to jump out. What he was not aware of was the old lady that "stole" a tube of anti-itch medicine (because I watched her walk out the door with it) that was walking infront of me. She comes around the corner and I see his face - he ALMOST jumped out in front of her. As he and I are laughing and discussing the face he almost gave her a heart attack, she screams "Oh MY GOD! I didn't pay for his" Tony feels the need to yell, "that is the BEST sale. Just take it".
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The Dippo Litter
Tony is really into us having our own TV show. His newest idea: me having 6 kids at ONE time. He said our show would be WAY better than the old Jon and Kate plus 8.
He has it all planned out. He is going to get me a fertility drug then WALLAH, I have 6 babies! REALLY? There is NO other way we can get a TV show? I have to be turned into a human blimp, bed ridden for 8 months? Could anyone imagine? I would be wider than I am tall! I am only 5 foot!
Honestly, Dippolito! Bring me another pilot because this one is canceled.
He has it all planned out. He is going to get me a fertility drug then WALLAH, I have 6 babies! REALLY? There is NO other way we can get a TV show? I have to be turned into a human blimp, bed ridden for 8 months? Could anyone imagine? I would be wider than I am tall! I am only 5 foot!
Honestly, Dippolito! Bring me another pilot because this one is canceled.
Monday, May 24, 2010
What if I weren't here?
This has been a serious conversation that goes on between Tony and I at least once a week. I will be doing something that I feel if it wasn't for me, probably wouldn't even be thought twice about. For example, emptying the humidifier.
Before we headed to the gym on Sunday, I told Tony to hold on I had to empty the humidifier. He looked at me like I spoke a foreign language. As I was walking down stairs, I looked at him and said, "You need to know these things. What if something terrible happened to me?" He used his normal answer but it made me giggle. He said it with a HUGE gesture of putting his giant arms and hands out to his side and saying, "I told you, I would move into a condo."
And that, my friends, is why I have to out live him.
Before we headed to the gym on Sunday, I told Tony to hold on I had to empty the humidifier. He looked at me like I spoke a foreign language. As I was walking down stairs, I looked at him and said, "You need to know these things. What if something terrible happened to me?" He used his normal answer but it made me giggle. He said it with a HUGE gesture of putting his giant arms and hands out to his side and saying, "I told you, I would move into a condo."
And that, my friends, is why I have to out live him.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Lake Placid, Dead Lake, Lake Erie..take your pick!
I am very upset about the following things that have happened in Erie the past few days:
As for the alligator, I could have gone on forever. All I can think of is Lake Placid and Betty White with those little alligators nibbling at her toes at the end.
I go on to say that I don't think I will be able to get in the lake again after this. Who knows what else is living in there or what else is dead and will float by.
Tony's answer to me is, "I do not see what the big deal is. It is just a fluke." I proceed to say, "REALLY?!?" and he says, "What? Do you think there is a meeting between alligators and cows going on to take over the Lake?"
This is why I can not discuss these subjects with him.
- A dead cow carcass washes up on Beach 1 AND they did not even close it. Can you imagine how bad that smelled. Think of a fish and times that by like 200%!
- A 3 foot alligator is found in French Creek
As for the alligator, I could have gone on forever. All I can think of is Lake Placid and Betty White with those little alligators nibbling at her toes at the end.
I go on to say that I don't think I will be able to get in the lake again after this. Who knows what else is living in there or what else is dead and will float by.
Tony's answer to me is, "I do not see what the big deal is. It is just a fluke." I proceed to say, "REALLY?!?" and he says, "What? Do you think there is a meeting between alligators and cows going on to take over the Lake?"
This is why I can not discuss these subjects with him.
Friday, May 14, 2010
The many faces of Anthony
Today, I was SO excited that Tony came home early! However, it went in a way different direction.
First, he came in like a bull in a china shop. He was pissed off at the world! THE ENTIRE WORLD! His list started with Doctors and ended with High School Principles. After a half an hour of giving him some alone time, we decided to head to Erie County Farms. I know what you are thinking, WHY? Well, it was going really well until I looked across the store and he was a bee line for me. The 8 kids in the shopping cart screaming , "HI, HI, HI" pushed him too far. While in the check out line, he looked at me very seriously and said, "I want to drop kick that Almond Biscotti display". We got out of there as soon as well could.
We then proceeded to Wegmans. The only issue we had was me trying to find him and he was aimlessly pushing the cart from one side of Wegmans to another WHILE playing with he Blackberry in one hand. On the ride home he told me he needed some, "TT". Which, apparently, is "Tony Time".
We make it home, have a little lunch which includes, "Every kind of chicken from the Asian Wok stand" and Tony finds himself with an email from the Pirates President of Operations. So, after reading that, he went from someone who wanted to fist fight to the happiest man alive!
This is where I retired to the downstairs for a little P90X and Tony watched the rest of the Pirate game and went to the gym for some "T.T."
After 2 hours from each other, we decided to get some dinner and we needed to head to the Ghetto Wal-Mart. Now you may ask yourself, wasn't Erie County Farms enough for one day? No, no it was not.
On our way through the parking lot, there were two boys with a coat hanger trying to get into a car. Was it their car or a break in...we didn't stick around to find out. We go to get some Popcorn Chicken, because we haven't had enough chicken today, and the place was closed. Not just closed, but closed with a ripped cardboard box and a black marker sign. We proceed to get the stuff we need and head to the checkout. I ask if he minds finding me a Diet Coke. As I am waiting for him, I see this little boy, on a tricycle, with a binkie in his mouth just driving the bike all over the place. As I am self checking out, here comes Tony from the opposite side of the store with a 2 liter. He said there were no cold Diet Cokes so he got a 2 liter. As I put all the items in two bags, I suggest that he double bags the one bag. He said it will be fine. As we are walking through the parking lot, out drops one of the BBQ sauces, he picks it up and another one drops out. At this point I just look at him. The poor guy looks like he belongs at the ghetto Wal-Mart other than the Under Armour sweatsuit he has on.
We get in the truck for the 6 minute ride home where he insists on changing the words of a Taylor Swift song to a song about a pee pee. Now, he did NOT use the word "pee pee". This song lasted the ENTIRE way home. I finally tell him to shut up and ask him, "Did you forget your medication today?" He looks at me and says, "I didn't, I am out" The horrific look on my face must have said it all. He said he was kidding, but he did forget to take it today. AH...it all makes sense now.
As I am baking and cooking for my Dad's 60th Birthday party tomorrow, he is sitting at the table, talking to himself, saying stupid things and singing. At one time, he had a HUGE gob of white icing on his finger and he was eating it! He even looked at me and said, "I so want to fight someone RIGHT NOW!" He also told me that "The soda is flatter than my boobies" REALLY?!? I asked him to call my mom for me, not thinking, and he harassed my poor mom AND dad. And, I found out tonight, I have a new nickname - Shorty. I was Shorty for the latter part of the evening.
So, this is what happens when Anthony does not take his anxiety/ADD medicine.
First, he came in like a bull in a china shop. He was pissed off at the world! THE ENTIRE WORLD! His list started with Doctors and ended with High School Principles. After a half an hour of giving him some alone time, we decided to head to Erie County Farms. I know what you are thinking, WHY? Well, it was going really well until I looked across the store and he was a bee line for me. The 8 kids in the shopping cart screaming , "HI, HI, HI" pushed him too far. While in the check out line, he looked at me very seriously and said, "I want to drop kick that Almond Biscotti display". We got out of there as soon as well could.
We then proceeded to Wegmans. The only issue we had was me trying to find him and he was aimlessly pushing the cart from one side of Wegmans to another WHILE playing with he Blackberry in one hand. On the ride home he told me he needed some, "TT". Which, apparently, is "Tony Time".
We make it home, have a little lunch which includes, "Every kind of chicken from the Asian Wok stand" and Tony finds himself with an email from the Pirates President of Operations. So, after reading that, he went from someone who wanted to fist fight to the happiest man alive!
This is where I retired to the downstairs for a little P90X and Tony watched the rest of the Pirate game and went to the gym for some "T.T."
After 2 hours from each other, we decided to get some dinner and we needed to head to the Ghetto Wal-Mart. Now you may ask yourself, wasn't Erie County Farms enough for one day? No, no it was not.
On our way through the parking lot, there were two boys with a coat hanger trying to get into a car. Was it their car or a break in...we didn't stick around to find out. We go to get some Popcorn Chicken, because we haven't had enough chicken today, and the place was closed. Not just closed, but closed with a ripped cardboard box and a black marker sign. We proceed to get the stuff we need and head to the checkout. I ask if he minds finding me a Diet Coke. As I am waiting for him, I see this little boy, on a tricycle, with a binkie in his mouth just driving the bike all over the place. As I am self checking out, here comes Tony from the opposite side of the store with a 2 liter. He said there were no cold Diet Cokes so he got a 2 liter. As I put all the items in two bags, I suggest that he double bags the one bag. He said it will be fine. As we are walking through the parking lot, out drops one of the BBQ sauces, he picks it up and another one drops out. At this point I just look at him. The poor guy looks like he belongs at the ghetto Wal-Mart other than the Under Armour sweatsuit he has on.
We get in the truck for the 6 minute ride home where he insists on changing the words of a Taylor Swift song to a song about a pee pee. Now, he did NOT use the word "pee pee". This song lasted the ENTIRE way home. I finally tell him to shut up and ask him, "Did you forget your medication today?" He looks at me and says, "I didn't, I am out" The horrific look on my face must have said it all. He said he was kidding, but he did forget to take it today. AH...it all makes sense now.
As I am baking and cooking for my Dad's 60th Birthday party tomorrow, he is sitting at the table, talking to himself, saying stupid things and singing. At one time, he had a HUGE gob of white icing on his finger and he was eating it! He even looked at me and said, "I so want to fight someone RIGHT NOW!" He also told me that "The soda is flatter than my boobies" REALLY?!? I asked him to call my mom for me, not thinking, and he harassed my poor mom AND dad. And, I found out tonight, I have a new nickname - Shorty. I was Shorty for the latter part of the evening.
So, this is what happens when Anthony does not take his anxiety/ADD medicine.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Friom Moe's to Mexico
We had a Sies De Mayo celebration at Moe's with Steph and Matt. With all the Mexican celebration, I reminded myself of my GREAT idea: Why doesn't the US buy Mexico. Canada doesn't have Drug Cartel, they aren't killing people and leaving them in random ditches and Canadians don't try and sneak across the boarder ALL the time. They are friendly neighbors, Mexico, not so much. I am over it and this, to me, is a way to stop it all!
First, Tony explained that Mexico is NOT for sale. I disagree, everything has a price. Lets just put a "bid" on it. He, in his usual joking manner, suggested why don't we go to war with them instead? I was like, "HELL YA! We would totally win!" Then, he said, "Other people would not be happy with that decision, Autumn" I suggested we give back the Statue of Liberty if that people become upset. Steph lost it and said, while laughing really hard, " Yes, lets give the French back the Statue of Liberty so we can wage a war with Mexico." War or money - your choice Mexico!
This subject was briefly touched on a few weeks ago, when I suggested/asked Tony about it after reading so many stories about Mexico and EVERY ONE dealt with death, drugs or torture. As usual, I gave my ideas on the subject and we never spoke of it again. We have a tendency to have these conversations daily, they usually happen at bedtime when my mind is blank. Usually he answers by saying, "Why don't we let Murph answer this one".
First, Tony explained that Mexico is NOT for sale. I disagree, everything has a price. Lets just put a "bid" on it. He, in his usual joking manner, suggested why don't we go to war with them instead? I was like, "HELL YA! We would totally win!" Then, he said, "Other people would not be happy with that decision, Autumn" I suggested we give back the Statue of Liberty if that people become upset. Steph lost it and said, while laughing really hard, " Yes, lets give the French back the Statue of Liberty so we can wage a war with Mexico." War or money - your choice Mexico!
This subject was briefly touched on a few weeks ago, when I suggested/asked Tony about it after reading so many stories about Mexico and EVERY ONE dealt with death, drugs or torture. As usual, I gave my ideas on the subject and we never spoke of it again. We have a tendency to have these conversations daily, they usually happen at bedtime when my mind is blank. Usually he answers by saying, "Why don't we let Murph answer this one".
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Really? With another blog?
We know, we know...who wants to read a blog, right? Well...we decided too many funny things happen here at the Dippo house to not share with people that know us and can appreciate our antics. Since we aren't getting our own TV show any time soon, this blog will have to do. Hopefully, when you are having a bad day, are bored or just need a little pick me up, you can click on here and we can provide you with just that!
For example, I have a tendency to think I am a private detective. So, once a week, I decide to look at certain fb.com profiles. Well, today, one of my favorites turned PRIVATE! WHAT?!? I KNOW! So, I looked at Anthony, who is sitting across the table from me on is own computer and say, "I really hate when stupid people become smart and change their fb.com profile to private!" He looked at me, in amazement like he always does when something like that comes out of my mouth, and says, "I am making THAT my facebook.com status". Then he says, "I think it is time to start that blog...."
Enjoy!
XO~
Aut and Tony
For example, I have a tendency to think I am a private detective. So, once a week, I decide to look at certain fb.com profiles. Well, today, one of my favorites turned PRIVATE! WHAT?!? I KNOW! So, I looked at Anthony, who is sitting across the table from me on is own computer and say, "I really hate when stupid people become smart and change their fb.com profile to private!" He looked at me, in amazement like he always does when something like that comes out of my mouth, and says, "I am making THAT my facebook.com status". Then he says, "I think it is time to start that blog...."
Enjoy!
XO~
Aut and Tony
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